Love keeps no record of wrongs for me

Earlier this week, I thought to myself: it’s a good thing Love keeps no record of wrong because if Love kept a record of wrongs, some people would be really screwed," for lack of a better word.

As I thought about this aspect of love, certain instances and certain people I have observed came to mind.  I would easily place these people in the "fickle" category.  Apparently, whenever they are ready to return to the status quo, they will, regardless of whatever may have transpired during the last encounter. 

I wondered what could possibly be going on in their mind for them to think everything is just okay, whenever they like, without so much as a clarification, explanation, caramel apple, something.  Did they single-handedly delete that part of history? Or independently resolve any qualms the night before, while I was sleeping, no less.  I guess so.  My only justification was that: this particular section of the oft-quoted and inscribed "Love is" scripture reference must be one of their favorite passages, because they are surely taking advantage of it!

How pious of me! As if I have done not anything worthy of being recorded as wrong. As if I am not guilty of the same offense and even worse. As if.

And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:3

Daily I do things, to others and God, that would leave me speechless and without sensible explanation at the judgment seat.  For example, anytime I doubt the Lord’s leadership and miraculous power, it’s sin because anything done without faith is sin. See Romans 14:23.  Additionally, if all my thoughts were transcribed, well, God please have mercy.

By God’s grace, these wrongs, that would otherwise be recorded if not for love, will decrease.  Meanwhile, I need to change my perspective in my everyday analysis of what or who is really wrong.  When considering what someone else does "wrong," I must weigh my faults greater.  There’s always a plank in my eye and a speck in the other person’s eye, all the time, every time.

The "love keeps no record of wrongs" isn’t for “them,” it’s for me.

So about that list….

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my Pastor. As a young woman meeting with my Pastor, people automatically assumed I was telling him my prince has found me. *screams* :-)

After the nth time of being asked subtly and overtly, I played along and acquiesced with a smile.  If everyone keeps asking, they must know something that I am yet to know, might as well claim it. *shrug*

While waiting for my meeting, another Pastor on the leadership team, asked me “well what kind of things are you looking for in your mate?”

Of course I have this written down, so I busted out my laptop and opened “the list” for her.

I haven’t revisited the list in a while.  I mentally revisited the list over the summer when I learned the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle is what the King is looking for in His Son’s bride.  Likewise, I should also possess those characteristics and desire these characteristics in my "life partner" as my grandma commonly calls it, (almost every time she asks me, almost every time she sees me, and subsequently every time she prays for me……God bless the intercessory grandma's!)

Apart from that, I hadn’t really considered my list since the soul mate (woman’s perspective, man’s perspective, wrap-up) blog posts and the subsequent discussions that flowed from those posts about 6 months ago.

Going back to my particular list, which may or may not have been posted, the lists are anonymous ;-) she began to go over it with me.  I couldn’t help but to laugh, as we went down the list.

“Christina, does this person exist?.... He does not have to..... Is he a clown!.... What…! Why....? What does this even mean?” [insert chuckles here and there]

Granted, I'm not "married" to this list and wouldn't use it as the end all be all check list, as that would be unreasonable. However, listening to my list being verbally processed by another was humorous.

Some of my characteristics were taken from Godly matrimony's that I have witnessed and a combination of teachings.  Undoubtedly, many married couples with the admirable Godly relationships did not have their current relationships, pre-marriage (aka courting or dating) and possibly for some time post-nuptials (aka "the ceremony").  So one should not necessarily expect all the desired characteristics from the get-go.

I realized my previous list, was more so a list of desired characteristics in my husband, after years of growing together, learning and knowing each other.

My list now consists of 4 main things of equal importance:

1. Friend
2. Faithful
3. God-loving
4. Prayerful

BAM!

I have two more preferences but they are certainly not deal breakers.

Given that we do not have a soul mate, that is until we have chosen our life partner, we do have our Sovereign Lord.  He knows my whole story from beginning to eternity.

So until that part of my story comes along, I know He knows the desires of my heart.  I’ll pray that He would conform my desires, to His desires for me.

And rest assured His will, will be done.

It’s not just about Proverbs 31:

Stop the press! (or just add this addendum)

About two months ago, I surveyed some of my Christian young adult friends about what they desired in a spouse; what they valued in a future life partner. (See Value System: a woman's perspective and  Value System: a man's perspective).

In general conversation, men will usually say they value the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. Likewise, women will say "I want to embody Proverbs 31" (or if they are bold enough they will even say "I am a Proverbs 31 woman.") The children and husband of a Proverbs 31 woman arise and call her blessed. (Proverbs 31:28)

Blessed.

Blessed: the ultimate well-being and distinctive spiritual joy of those who share in the salvation of the kingdom of God. (Zondervan Study Bible)

Our Foundations class today was an Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount; Matthew 5 and 6. (All my Foundations classes have been excellent! I wish I could bring everyone to class with me. I wouldn’t just say that about any class.)

The Sermon on the Mount is "Jesus’ first public proclamation of the value system of His Kingdom." Matthew 5 contains the 8 core values, (5:3-10). Here, "Jesus is expressing His heart and revealing what is important to Him."

The values are followed by 6 vices that would prevent one from inheriting the Kingdom (5:21-47). Then, Matthew 6 has 7 virtues that release God’s grace upon us as we live out the core values. (6:1-34)

The eight core values are the Beatitudes:

1. Poor in Spirit – realizing that we can do nothing without Him
2. Mourning
3. Meekness – thinking of others before thinking of yourself
4. Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness -
5. Showing Mercy
6. Purity in Heart – not just sexual impurity but thoughts and actions
7. Making Peace – a peacemaker not merely a peacekeeper i.e passive aggressive – non-confrontational.
8. Persecution

Oftentimes, we recite the beatitudes, without much insight, as they sound great – who wouldn’t want to be blessed and inherit the Kingdom? However, these qualities are not inherent characteristics that we are born with, or personality traits that can developed by our own strength, in the flesh. We need to ask our live-in teacher, the Holy Spirit, dwelling within us, to give us more insight into their worth and teach us how to embody these values.

Proverbs 31 is good and dandy (and heavily referenced). It provides a good illustration of the “perfect virtuous woman,” which assumingly many women strive to become. However, I would like to place more emphasis on Matthew 5 and 6 as the continuous goal. These are the values Jesus will be looking for in each of us, men and women, and how we ought to live our lives daily.

“These values are to define us as we walk the narrow path in this life. . . Our hearts are liberated and our souls fulfilled when we give ourselves to 100% obedience to the value system of the Kingdom of God.” –Jamie Burns Pridgen