Mum is NOT the word.

Shedding light on a lesson I’m learning. 

So this was my former M.O. by God's grace :-)

For example, 

Someone (who isn’t my mother or brother) pisses me off right? But I’m trying to walk this narrow path of life, embrace the fruit of the spirit, specifically meekness, right? So I just keep quiet. “Mum is the word.” 

What I think I’ve done is become the bigger person, letting that person act a fool.  Then, the pissed off-ness wears off and voila I have forgiven them. 

(Somewhere along the way of realizing arguing for free is not worth a dime, I became non-confrontational – believe it or not - in day to day interactions of course…) 

Oh but I’ve been told, I have the memory of an elephant. I don’t forget anything. (Side note: once I realized everyone doesn't have an "elephant's memory,", I had to mask how much I revealed to know, or they would think I had some supernatural powers – “how did you know that?” Um, you told me *blank stare*… jeez. Oh you remembered that...) 

Anyway, back to the story. So said person comes along some time later and pisses me off again. (is “piss off” vulgar? I never knew it to be such, so no offense if you’re taking some offense). Again, I just let it go.  In my mind, I’m like, this person is kind of crazy, duly noted, a discussion is not worth it – trying to remember my Proverbs – you know that part – don’t argue with fools...” "Argue" read "discuss in any shape or form, nada… "

Nonetheless, said person has just been moved out of my circle of trust, circle of sane people or what have you. Xtina pulls back from said person little by little. (Keep your enemies closer – naaah bro, I don’t play that – stay the heck away from me, uproot them Lord! *double snap*) 

Then it happens again, and again, and again, and perhaps even their close friend pisses me off too – conspiracy kai, and then they come again…. (Remember, this hypothetical is just for illustration purposes.) 

However, it’s very plausible that the next “again” might not receive the same “mum is the word” response. The next again might not even be as big of a deal as the first time or one of the “agains” prior.  All the while, I thought I was being meek and forgiving.  I was mum-is-the-wording and disregarding, meanwhile making my conclusions about this person’s behavior and inadvertently keeping record. 

Recently, actually just last week, I tried something different. Something happened and I was not pleased with how this something unfolded. I thought, oh well, it is what it is, but next time I know. I won’t say anything at all. Wrong response, (here). 

Hours later, when I finally had some down time on the drive home, lol, something in me decided not to just call it a night but rather pick up the phone. Right response! *ding, ding, ding*  (in this instance) 

Long story short, “It could all be so simple, but we rather make it hard.” (oh Lauryn). Mum is NOT always the word, necessarily. Although, it’s still a case-by-case analysis, at least I think so for now. 

Before that, I’d always be like well this is trivial; I’m not going to make any kind of big or small deal about it. I’ll just keep quiet, you’re not going to catch me arguing (unless it’s for work, and even then I’m zealously advocating, not arguing). 

For me and my elephant memory, that’s not always the right response (or lack thereof) because with each offending action, I continue to move the person down the spectrum of cool/sane person all the way down to just someone I happen to know, stranger, or even worse – that one is crazy. Unbeknownst to them all the while. 

"I’m going to let this go and not say anything" is not always equal to meekness and true forgiveness if you haven't really "let it go."

But note, "When you decide to forgive someone, don't let the devil convince you that because you still have the same feelings you have not really forgiven the person. -Joyce Meyer  

Forgiving the person is releasing them from their debt and never to use it against them.  You still may feel a certain way about what they did, but you cannot act on it.

I’m learning to distinguish between meekness coupled with true forgiveness versus simply disregarding for the moment and recording. 

I felt like I learned this lesson already here Love keeps no records of wrongs... and here the benefit of doubt but I’m also learning that we’re going to be learning lessons for life, a school we never really graduate from (til we pass on to glory). 

Lord have mercy! 

A thousand times I fail, still Your mercy remains…. Inside Out, Hillsong

The benefit of the doubt

Life lesson and reminder #2705

Some thing I've learned, packaged in diverse lesson plans throughout my life, is to give people the benefit of the doubt.

the benefit of the doubt: a favorable judgment granted in the absence of full evidence.

In relationships of all kinds, it’s easy to forget that “nobody is perfect.”

Nobody is perfect; that shouldn't be much of a surprise, right?  However, many interpersonal conflicts could be resolved or at least de-magnified if we remembered this often.  If we remembered this tenet, we would be slow to make judgments, condemnations; basically assume the worst.  In other words, we treat people as if they were perfect beings and when something happens to contradict that, we forget that we are not perfect beings.

In line with the reason for the Christmas season, there's only one perfect person that's ever been created and we mark His birth in a couple weeks. He is seated at the right Hand of the Father, right now! No one presently alive has physically seen Him as a man. That is Jesus. *cue Revelation Song*

With that said, if we remember that "nobody is perfect," forgiving becomes much more second nature, as it should be for Christians.

So my two cents with this post are:

First, in personal relationships: family, friendships, etc. when you feel wronged or when you would assume the worst based on someone’s actions or statements, just give the person the benefit of the doubt. Don’t jump to conclusions from your assumptions.  More times than not, you learn that your assumptions are actually inaccurate, once you eventually receive the explanation you ask for (key phrase: "ask for" read: communication).

Just stop and think, is this person who you once called friend, brother or what have you, willfully trying to be malicious? More times than not, I think, it is not the case.  I highly doubt that a person you (wisely/willingly) held in close quarters would be willfully malicious or intentionally seek to "stab you in the back" (not talking about work relationships though, see below). I know the heart of man is desperately wicked but in these instances, I just don't think people you've let into your inner circle would just snap, (save any psychological issues, God forbid).

There’s probably just a misunderstanding that you ought to clear up. This clearing up involves, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, intentional communication, and forgiving, regardless of the outcome. Also note, the other person may not have the same idea of forgiveness as you but that doesn't [shouldn't] change your duty or response.

Yes, you also have a duty...

I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me? How can I make things better? Learn these phrases... Use them when needed.
— tolu a. (@tolulope8) November 25, 2012

Oddly enough, today someone referenced a Lecrae tweet, which he originally tweeted on July 15, 2012!.....!!!!.....!!!!!!! That's my birthday!!! Get out! lol

Never assume people's motives. It's the easiest way to find yourself upset over nothing or misjudging people.
— Lecrae (@lecrae) July 16, 201

I’m noticing more and more that I’m giving people of the benefit of the doubt and it feels great, feels free.  I think I get it from my mom, who always chooses to see the good side of people. And also from an understanding that there are always so many facts and perceptions to one story.  Uncovering every fact would be the only just way to get to the bottom of an issue.

So for me, I'm focusing on the good side of people, not really being consumed with the facts though (I mean who really has time for that, life is too short for all that, I'm on a mission), and just forgiving quickly. (read: Nike slogan: just do it. *shrug*) How much does it cost you to hold on to something? BUT, how much is it worth. It's not worth it. Love keeps no records of wrongs. 

Forgiving as I was forgiven, Merry Christmas to me.

--------
End note

On another (professional setting) note, someone, (I’ll call them a more experienced practitioner), told me this recently regarding our line of work, (and someone told this to that person): always assume [someone on the other side] is lying just a little bit.

Since I’m relatively new to the full-time work scene, I can’t comment much on that, but it sounded like a good piece of advice, as an encouragement to ask more questions; the harder questions, the deeper questions, in an investigation.  

Although, ironically, in my field, typically, you’re innocent until proven guilty. *shrug* Then again, maybe that "innocent until proven guilty" tenet is mainly relevant in the courts of criminal law... maybe it's not even really relevant there! :-o Another post for another day.

Ẹnití ó ni orí, kò ni filà. Ẹnití ó ni filà, kò ni orí.

On Tuesday afternoon, I was walking expeditiously across the loop, trying to beat the approaching rain. Midway through my journey, it begins to drizzle. Now, I am wearing boots that are not water-proof, and damp feet would just be uncomfortable.  The day before, I wore my rain boots, but decided against it on this particular day, taking into consideration the transition from boots to pumps in conjunction with my obligations that day. Also, the forecast did not call for rain until much later in the day.

This thought quickly pops into my mind: I should have wore my rain boots today. A second later, I mean literally one second later, I see a man walking past me, in the opposite direction, barefoot!

I did a quick but discrete whip-neck back, to confirm what I just saw. Indeed, as puddles formed along the concrete, this man was walking down Washington Street, within the center of the main business district of Chicago, at midday, completely barefoot.

And although seeming slightly militant, just slightly, all others things considered, he seemed sane. Granted, there is the very rare possibility that he chose to walk barefoot. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt that that was not the case, in this instant.

Message! Some people do not even have shoes at all, or the luxury to choose from two or more pairs, due to the weather or occasion.  This made me ponder another aspect of what we daily take for granted as "necessity."  This is not even a matter of first-world privilege and third-world oppression: poverty is everywhere!  Let me take you around certain neighborhoods in Chicago.  Let me take you blocks away from my "campus town;"  North Champaign.

When I came home that evening, I told my family about my thought provoking highlight of the day. My story reminded my Aunt of the following Yoruba Proverb and her explanation followed.

Ẹnití ó ni orí, kò ni filà. Ẹnití ó ni filà, kò ni orí. 

Someone has a head, but does not have a hat. Someone has a hat, but does not have a head.

This proverb is used when someone misuses an opportunity or entirely misses an opportunity.

This is a reminder that whereever you are right now, and whatever you think could be the ultimate worst scenario in the world for you, always consider that there are countless people that would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

Appreciate with thanks what you have, and use it wisely, be resourceful.  I am not saying be forever complacent with your current state of affairs. This does not substitute prayer and supplication for change, increase or what have you.  But, just the same, focus on and be a faithful steward of, everything you do have.  And may the above Yoruba Proverb not be said as true for you or me. K'Olorun je k'ani mejeji.

Heavenly Hindsight

Nothing puts life in perspective like death. Each of us has a predestined appointment to die once. No matter who we are, what we’ve done or how much we’re worth, we will die, and there is no escaping it.  How we live on this side will determine which side of eternity we wake up into. How we live on this side will determine whether we are in fact resting in “peace” or eternal damnation.

On Wednesday, January 25th at 12:25PM, my dear grandmother went to sleep and woke up in the presence of the Lord, no doubt about it.  Her faith was secure decades ago, but she kept on running her race, walking out her salvation with fear and trembling.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, she encountered could see her love for Christ.

As humans, emotional beings, we tend to mourn the loss of a loved one because we remember the times we’ve shared and imagine how life will be going forward without this person who played a role in our life.  And that’s okay, there’s a time for that.  Yet, we do not mourn as the unbelievers that have no hope.  For we know as real as death is, Heaven is real too.

Each time I begin to sorrowfully mourn my grandma's death, I have to check myself: “don’t you believe Heaven is real?” “Wasn’t she unquestionably saved?” (or as my brother called her a “professional Christian”) Then, I must know that now that she is absent from her body, she is present with the Lord.

"To the unbeliever, their last day on earth is the worst day of their life. To the believer, their last day on earth is the best day of their life." January 25, 2012, was the best day of my grandma's life, just short of a year after my grandfather was called home. Therefore, it is a celebration!

In the last couple weeks, several people I know have become bereaved.  Today, I attended my friend’s father’s funeral. And I’d never really refer to a funeral as a “good” funeral but that was a good funeral/homegoing celebration.  I left this funeral uplifted and encouraged by his life and legacy.  This home going ceremony, coupled with the things people have been saying in honor of my grandma, as well as the fact that we are  pilgrims, passing through this vapor of a life, motivate me more, to live with my eyes on Heaven.

The question before me now and henceforth is: What will I say when I get to Heaven?  I’m just thinking of that video of my life that will play with the choices I made and the choices I am making. For example, imagine, how embarrassing it will be for me to try to explain an offense I held in my heart (or something else sinful). When I’m at the judgment seat of Christ, accounting for everything I’ve said, done, or thought, how will I explain all my choices to my Father? If the opportunity presents itself, which I'd imagine it could, since we'll be there forever: what will I say to my brother or sister in Christ?  "Oh yeah that time….yeah I was mad because….and yeah that was it. *blank stare* Yeah, it seems really lame and petty, I don’t even know how I could let that affect me. I wish I handled that differently. Thank God He let me in, even after that. So, yeah....” *awkward* Mercy me.

Philippians 3: 18-20 --actually read the whole chapter, letter, testament, etc. for context :)
For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ

We get caught up in all these trivial things of the world that will have no value in the age to come.  I want to live my life with a Heavenly Hindsight. I will (try to) live my life with a Heavenly Hindsight, daily. Grace, Lord.

"So I won't lose heart on this journey, in this vapor called life."

I am running after You

One of my favorite past times, is track and field.  In high school, I anchored the relay teams; 4 * 100 and 4 * 200, respectively.  Collectively, these races happen so quickly.  The gun goes off, you turn your head one degree and the next runner (leg) is already taking off in the exchange zone, ready to receive the baton from the previous leg. Every team is running for the prize, the trophy, the medal or the ribbon.

Individually, the races are even quicker.  Once you’ve passed the baton, your job is done.  Wherever you left off, is where the next person picks up. Everyone else's race continues. Where your team is, after your leg is a reflection of how well you ran. You would hope that during your leg of the race, you’ve set your team ahead. You hope that you left a legacy.

Life is a vapor fading fast.  Live your life with your eyes on the prize, heavenly minded.  Live your life to Christly impact your generation.  Live your life leaving a legacy. Live your life in a way that when your part of the race is over, your next destination will be unquestionable to the loved ones that will carry your legacy. Forget about the trivial things of this world.

Oh when we all get to Heaven; may none of us miss eternity with our Father.  I can’t wait but at the same time I can. So, I’m running my leg of this relay not just for myself and my “team” but for my generation and for the generations after me.  Meanwhile, I hope I run well, with the Word as my baton, faith and love as my track suit and my eyes on Heaven, until He pulls me off the track.

So at the end it can be said of me that "I fought the good fight, I finished the race, and I kept my faith; well done good and faithful Xtina."

I am running, running after You.

Celebrating Life

January 11th

On the one hand, I am celebrating the life of my grandma and the legacy she is leaving for us. These last few weeks have been difficult, seeing my grandma in critical condition, in the Intensive Care Unit. 

Thankfully, God has answered our prayers and is still showing us His glory, using His wisdom and power to confound medicinal reports.

On the other hand, I am celebrating the new life of an infant addition to my family. Meet Oluwatimilehin: translated God has my back!

As seen on January 13th in Omowunmi Project 366

Celebrate Life. It's a gift.

LIFE: abortion is a death penalty too.

Last month one man was judicially tried, convicted and sentenced to death by lethal injection also known as the death penalty.  The death penalty has been outlawed in several states including Illinois.  However, Troy Davis was tried in Georgia, a state which still allows capital punishment.  People were outraged using various avenues and sites to speak out against the death penalty, all the way to the front steps of the courts even.

Last month about 108,333 innocent children were murdered by abortion.

Some of the people who were so adamantly opposed to the Troy Davis sentence are pro-choice.  In other words, there are people opposed to the death penalty and in support of abortion.  This philosophy just does not align logically.  I would imagine as a  principle, if you are against the death penalty for an adult, you would also be against the death penalty for a child, moreover a child who is not suspected of committing any crime at all, whatsoever.

This is a short post calling for more agreement in prayer to end abortion.  I pray that all who believe that our Sovereign Lord is God alone, and anyone with morals for that matter, will see the congruency between the death penalty and abortion.  I pray that all believers will see that abortion is 21st century genocide, especially targeted to the minority populations. Additionally, I pray that believers of Christ will speak out against abortion and make informed decisions when voting.  I also pray that pregnant women/parents will choose LIFE.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. 

Proverbs 31:8

You are marked!

You, yes you specifically reading this, are marked! Psalm 139

Nothing else really needs to be said on this post; the video below says it all. Please listen!

It’s not just about Proverbs 31:

Stop the press! (or just add this addendum)

About two months ago, I surveyed some of my Christian young adult friends about what they desired in a spouse; what they valued in a future life partner. (See Value System: a woman's perspective and  Value System: a man's perspective).

In general conversation, men will usually say they value the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. Likewise, women will say "I want to embody Proverbs 31" (or if they are bold enough they will even say "I am a Proverbs 31 woman.") The children and husband of a Proverbs 31 woman arise and call her blessed. (Proverbs 31:28)

Blessed.

Blessed: the ultimate well-being and distinctive spiritual joy of those who share in the salvation of the kingdom of God. (Zondervan Study Bible)

Our Foundations class today was an Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount; Matthew 5 and 6. (All my Foundations classes have been excellent! I wish I could bring everyone to class with me. I wouldn’t just say that about any class.)

The Sermon on the Mount is "Jesus’ first public proclamation of the value system of His Kingdom." Matthew 5 contains the 8 core values, (5:3-10). Here, "Jesus is expressing His heart and revealing what is important to Him."

The values are followed by 6 vices that would prevent one from inheriting the Kingdom (5:21-47). Then, Matthew 6 has 7 virtues that release God’s grace upon us as we live out the core values. (6:1-34)

The eight core values are the Beatitudes:

1. Poor in Spirit – realizing that we can do nothing without Him
2. Mourning
3. Meekness – thinking of others before thinking of yourself
4. Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness -
5. Showing Mercy
6. Purity in Heart – not just sexual impurity but thoughts and actions
7. Making Peace – a peacemaker not merely a peacekeeper i.e passive aggressive – non-confrontational.
8. Persecution

Oftentimes, we recite the beatitudes, without much insight, as they sound great – who wouldn’t want to be blessed and inherit the Kingdom? However, these qualities are not inherent characteristics that we are born with, or personality traits that can developed by our own strength, in the flesh. We need to ask our live-in teacher, the Holy Spirit, dwelling within us, to give us more insight into their worth and teach us how to embody these values.

Proverbs 31 is good and dandy (and heavily referenced). It provides a good illustration of the “perfect virtuous woman,” which assumingly many women strive to become. However, I would like to place more emphasis on Matthew 5 and 6 as the continuous goal. These are the values Jesus will be looking for in each of us, men and women, and how we ought to live our lives daily.

“These values are to define us as we walk the narrow path in this life. . . Our hearts are liberated and our souls fulfilled when we give ourselves to 100% obedience to the value system of the Kingdom of God.” –Jamie Burns Pridgen

dreams and reality

I’ve been having lots of dreams lately. Some of them run into each other. They are very real. So much so that I have to check my phone and retrace my steps to determine whether what I remember happened in my dream or in life. BUT it’s even weirder when what happened in my dream, happens in real life . . . 

When your dreams become reality.

decisions

I have some decisions to make, and they are probably the hardest decisions I have had to make in my life to date. For the most part, all other decisions followed the normal course of life: school, summer, school, summer and more school.

Now the seasons are changing and I need to dress up accordingly. I’ve come to a fork in the road and the decision could be as easy as picking what to wear. But even then, I remember, once in a while, dressing up from head to ankle, and wearing two different pairs of shoes, one on each foot. Then, I would ask my mom which one she liked better. Sometimes she would cooperate with the triviality of it and pick one. Sometimes she would respond with “see you have too many, if you just had one pair this wouldn’t be an issue.” And other times, she would just say disqualify herself from answering, at times noting that she doesn’t know what’s in style for my generation.

I could see the silliness of it and for the most part I knew which pair I wanted to wear. Sometimes we just look for confirmation in others. It helps to have that extra root of support. The support gives assurance that we’re doing the "right" thing.

So here I am, dressing up for this season. I need to make a decision and trust.

-C. C. Faith

I’ve never used Shuffle.

I have different playlists for different purposes. My M.O. is as follows: when I’m going into the zone, I’ll select a few songs, anywhere from 5 to 15 and create my playlist. Then I’ll let the songs play according to my specifications, and if I so desire, I’ll just keep a song that I’m really feeling on repeat indefinitely and when I’m ready to switch to another tune I do.

I introduced some friends to this music site that allows users to create and share playlists comprised of any song from their extensive database. Yesterday, I was studying (all I’m doing these days – one month to go!) and a friend made a playlist with over 150 great inspirational songs; classics, recent and some I’ve never heard and let it play on shuffle.

The playlist was on shuffle. I’ve never used shuffle.

Although, at times, I can appear to be spontaneous or go with the flow, in some respects, I’m a pretty calculated planner and accustomed to knowing what is next in the foreseeable future, music included. I just realized that the lack of a plan or deviating too far off a set course was a pet peeve. But I’m adapting.

In a sense, I also attempt to create a playlist for seasons in life, with the limited songs I can recall, in an order I think is most suitable for me.

In the playlist of life, God is the DJ, but sometimes we request the songs we want to hear, or we become an unqualified acting DJ, playing the songs we think are best. Meanwhile, I’ll hear a song that I wasn’t even thinking of at all and it just ministers to me perfectly. That was the exact song I needed to hear but I never would have known that, letting my life play with the songs I chose.

It’s good to have plans but I need to just let the songs of life play on “shuffle.” What seems to our limited understanding as a shuffle is actually a precise, unique and creative order created by our Creator. And of course it turns out to be a better playlist than any list we could have created.

Life is a musical, life is a melody. I need to sing along after God’s lead or I’ll constantly be off key.

Cards

It’s like a deck of cards. God is the dealer. The cards weren’t shuffled though.  So we each get a hand, a different hand. Some have Kings and Queens, some have Jokers, and some have other variations in between.


He picked each card specifically for you and He will see you through to the very end!

He's Faithful to the end . . .

Road map

"Until the Bible begins to talk to us, we really have not been reading it." AW Tozer

2010 has been and still is the year of enlargement and because of that my life will never be the same. I'm compiling all the various ways of change and enlargement and it's becoming very lengthy. I will still try to summarize  everything for a post towards the end of year. With this testament, I know 2011 is going to be very radical!

So, I’m drafting my road map and it’s becoming more and more concrete and likely. As I draft a road map of plans and visions, this verse suddenly comes hard on my heart:

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21.

This verse leads me to:

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9.

This verse leads me to:

A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way. Proverbs 20:20.

This verse leads me to:

If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm. Psalms 37:23.

Somehow I’m guided to Jeremiahs Prayer:

I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps . . . Jeremiah 10:23-25.

And then I see:

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. Isaiah 46:10.

 . . . which ties back to the first verse: Proverbs 19:21 and all the other messages I've been getting this week from various mediums.

Message? = Message!

The combined messages I received this week, in summation, tell me that when you know, believe and trust that your life is not your own but God’s, you have that peace that passes all understanding because you know everything will be done according to His will and for His purposes in His perfect time, as long as you're continuously (not just continually) abiding in Him.

How is that for a road map? 

“My life will not be used for trial an error!" 

–gotta love a Nigerian woman’s prayer.

~Happy Birthday mom, Happy Independence Nigeria.~

cherish the earthly relationships, on earth

I don't believe in living each day like it's your last . . .

I heard a Pastor say this week that marriage does not exist in Heaven. It is a question I had, which he confirmed, since my stepfather remarried my mother after my older siblings' mother passed, many years ago. My stepfather has also gone home to be with the Lord (Rest in Perfect Peace). Yet, I vividly remember the words my mother said to him with the casket open and how the Pastor responded to her. I could not help but wonder privately, who would he be married to in Heaven? And how does marriage in Heaven work for the polygamous homes, which were still popular in Nigeria as recent as two generations ago – my grandparent’s generation.

Thoughts of people that have recently passed and celebrating the anniversary of my esteemed relative’s home going (Dr. Femi Ogunnaike), as is the cultural tradition, caused other thoughts to resurface. When we attend funerals, usually as Christians, we comfort ourselves with the assurance that we will see them again. My initial reaction to the Pastor's affirmation, that the marriage relationship did not exist in Heaven, was something like "oh" *eyebrows raised* and "aww." The reassurance we hold onto likely encompasses the hope that we will see that person" again assumedly in the same earthly relationship. However, if the marriage relationship does not exist in heaven, neither will all other earthly relationships that we value. This makes me realize this one chance on earth is really the only time to cherish that form of the relationship.

Along those lines, I usually hear so many of my peers say “live each day like it's your last,” when they learn of someone’s passing. Many people probably said this same statement 9 years ago too, wherever we were, when we processed the World Trade Center’s terrorist attack.

Respectfully, I disagree wholeheartedly with the “live each day like your last” motto. I know I haven’t put much thought into my last day and how I want to spend it and I do not think I ever will. I would venture to say that many people who say that have not put much thought into it either. We generally work with the end in sight, but this is an expected end (for some - since not all will sleep) that we naturally and consciously suppress. Moreover, the average life expectancy in the United States is currently at about 78 years. Adhering to that motto essentially means we would spend, on average, a very substantial portion of our lifetime on earth, living in fear of life and death.

I do believe in living each day progressively and with purpose. The more correct statement or motto to me falls somewhere along the lines of “live each day cherishing all the time spent with people, family and friends with no doubt in your mind that if it were your last day once you've arrived at the gates of Heaven, God would say “my good and faithful servant you’ve done well.””

Where are we?

We left home early, so that just in case we hit traffic, we would still get there on time.

We were prepared.

Many of us were eager to enter on time. We, of course, also got the good parking spots.

While others are fashionably (or tactlessly -- whichever your perspective) late.

But better late than never, right? At least they made it!

Alas, everyone is here.

We see some familiar faces, some new.

Beautiful People, smelling good, looking good, brought their best foot forward.

Some dressed to impress.

Some came just for/as eye candy . . . (oftentimes referred to as spectators).

Some just came as they were, didn’t put much effort into their appearance.

Music is playing and it’s good music.

We like the music; the rhythm, the melody, the words.

We even sing along because we know all the words (or almost).

We’re dancing to the music, some people even break a sweat!

At times we start dancing with or near other people around us.

We are just so happy to be here, having a good old time.

People’s hands are lifted, stomping our feet, stepping to the music, clapping.

To be frank, we are glorifying the songs subject . . . because we can relate to it . . . or just because.

Smiling, Laughing, Merry, and Jolly.

We might consume something, we might not.

We might leave in the same way or state we came, we may not.

Lastly, we know we will probably drop some dollars when it’s all said and done. It's expected here, so we're okay with that. We're following the code of conduct, the rules.

Hours have passed but it’s like we don’t want it to end, ever.

A little saddened when it inevitably comes to an end, but we already know the next time we will be back.

We had a good time.

Where are we?

When this life ends, where were we and what were we doing?

To be continued…

teach me how to (agape) love

“Teach me how to love, show me the way to surrender my heart.” – Musiq

Recently, every now and then, that song, mainly that hook, found its way on my heart, and in my mind. It became more frequent over the last few days. I don’t know where it came from, I have not knowingly listened to that song in months, years possibly. This weekend I understood why.

Every message I received this past week centered on agape love. A very timely and relevant message I needed to receive.

God is Love and I was made for love. In order for me to progress and grow, to know the power and the anointing, and the promised ability to do all things, I need to be rooted and grounded in love. Without roots completely in the love of God “everything is just a religious display.” – Dr. Creflo Dollar

I need to attend to my roots. True story.

Earlier this summer, I almost missed an opportunity for development; developing unconditional love. I didn’t realize I was actually running away from it. Loving what is already lovely was easy, everyone likes good people; I do. When it came to the unlovely, I was being conditional.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Gustav Jung

Mistakenly, I believed I was consciously avoiding negativity and I was content with the status quo of this situation. These were basically conditional justifications, no less, of why I felt I did not have to love in this instance. Consequently, these conditions were placing hindrances on my development.

Walking in conditional love is not an option. I need to walk in unconditional, supernatural, agape love, All. The. Time; it’s mandated. I cannot choose when I will walk in love; it has to be everybody and anybody, whoever He places before me. I need to love what (who) is not as lovely, unconditionally. To love people in their weakness, because He unconditionally loves me, the way I am, undeserving and in my weakness.

“You get the richest measure of His Divine Presence on your life when you’re rooted and grounded in Love. And you become a body holy filled and flooded with God, Himself. Because when you’re rooted and grounded in love and you’re developing that love, you’re rooted and grounded in God and you’re developing in God.

And the more of that love you walk in, the more the Presence of God is going to be there. Because you can’t separate this love from God, because God is love. So Grow in Love. Grow in God. Grow in His Presence. Grow in His Anointing. Grow in His Blessings. Everything is going to start with the roots!” – Dr. Creflo Dollar

If I was made for love, I need my roots to be grounded in love, in order to make this love.

Please teach me how to love, like You do, Abba Father. Show me the way to surrender my love, unconditionally.

All ACCESS Passes!

Are you Sasha or Chelsea?

Today, in church, the Pastor used a great analogy!

Sasha Obama, as the youngest (and adorable) daughter of the President of the United States, has ACCESS to quite possibly the most powerful man in the world. However, amidst the cameras and bodyguards, she is probably too young to fully understand and appreciate the access she has to a man she just refers to as DADDY.

This is a 180 degree contrast to other presidents’ children who realized their access. The Bush twins exemplify president’s children who realized this ACCESS, albeit socially detrimental. There are also the Chelsea Clinton’s and John and Jane Doe Kennedy’s of the world, who used this access to their benefit.

Nonetheless, most of these children, regardless of what segment of the Evening World News they’ve chosen to appear in, have matriculated from the likes of Yale, Stanford and other Ivy Leagues, probably realizing and understanding the privileges bestowed upon them through their ACCESS.

Similarly, as the Peculiar, Chosen, Royal, (shall I go on) daughter or son of the Most Powerful, All Knowing, Everlasting, Faithful (it Goes on) God, In The World (Heavens, Earth, Galaxy, Universe yup all that), we have ALL ACCESS PASSES, BACKSTAGE PASSES; VIP status! No Lines No Waiting....But do we fully understand and appreciate it?

When you speak to Him you’re either calling Him DADDY, like a Sasha, or DADDY like a Chelsea. It all depends on whether you understand your ACCESS.

Blessed are the flexible because they cannot be broken!

First outstanding lesson of the new year... 
The people that judge don't matter and the people that matter don't judge.

There is a serious confusion I witnessed today, but it comes with the territory in these settings.

This setting is a place where there is authority from above and authority from culture and both get mixed together.

All in all, as for ME and my house; WE. WILL. SERVE. The Lord.

So those that don't matter, (I mean those that judge) can say what they want but God sees the heart! It is really only His judgment that matters.

Blessed are the flexible because they cannot be broken! - Pastor F.

~working not to please man, working to please God!~ 

Great Decade! Great Year

2000 has been a great decade!
2009 has been a great year!

I completed high school & college and next year I will get my JD and my Masters by the Grace of God. I have grown so much in this past year.

I give God all the Glory! Thank you Abba Father!

In 2010, my mouth will be filled with laughter & my tongue with singing because The Lord hath done great things for me. Psalm 126.

~2010 - Year of Enlargement~