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Learned Student, Honest.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Catch 22 - Dating in the Church

You want to “date” someone you know but you don’t want to ruin your friendship.

  • so don’t date just talk – red flag for confusion.

You want to “talk to” someone in your religious gathering (i.e. church or fellowship) but then everyone is monitoring your relationship.

  • So just get to know them – hang out – red flag for confusion again.

You “hang out” but then you’re creating an image or an atmosphere.
  • So hang out in groups only – that’s not all the way realistic. – and the red flag is bound to go up again…Reading more into innocent actions.

Must everything be defined to avoid the red flags? Doesn’t that create awkward flags and take away from the naturalness?

Talking to some friends: I am leaning more towards the anti dating-someone-from-my-church or fellowship. There are just too many circles.

But at the same time you want to talk to someone you know well enough and have enough people to give you character references on this person. The people I hang out with the most, are from church and fellowship. Therefore, the people I see and would consider dating are naturally within the same spheres.

Moreover, when I try the date-someone-not-from-my-church or fellowship route that turns out to be mmm a “lesson learned.” Surprisingly, the only two people I’ve dated have now become/becoming friends to people that I grew up with. I don’t know how I feel about that (smh!) lol – but if it’s bettering them as a person then, what’s my own?

My own is another lesson which could lead to: Do not bring this person around your friends and family until it is really serious. But then there’s another catch 22 because you would want to see how well they mesh with your friends and family.

Regardless, I don’t really see the point in dating. There is no ex if there is no dating right? I’m doing God and me until God tells me what’s up or who is up – then it’ll be all three. However, I’m not in a rush I’m on God’s time because I know He makes everything beautiful in His time.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned, I still think (for now) I’ll stick to the anti dating-someone-from-my-church or fellowship rule. I won’t let some God-fearing man with apparently player-like tendencies make me feel uncomfortable in my church, once he is on to the next one. Fall back players. :-) What is meant to be will be.
~Eyes Wide Open~

Hmmm.

1 comment:

  1. I loved this part of your post " I won’t let some God-fearing man with apparently player-like tendencies make me feel uncomfortable in my church, once he is on to the next one." Keep your focus on God girl! It brings a great sense of love that no man can give, it'll help you even when u meet the one.

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